The evenings may slowly and surely be getting lighter but let’s be honest summer is a long way off yet. The morning commutes are still dark and cold and if it isn’t frosty it is windy and wet. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
There is one very easy way to guarantee you keep yourself warm though; without having to constantly layer up in knitwear or spend an extra ten minutes in the morning frantically finding your scarf and gloves; and not only is it easy and inexpensive but it’s fun too. I know right!? It’s too good to be true I hear you say, but trust me there is no hard work involved in this process.
So, if like most of us, you want to know how you can go up a dress size in just one week, yes ONE WEEK then keep reading (and thank us later)
Eat Carbs. EAT ALL OF THE CARBS. Eat carbs on carbs. Think bread or pasta morning, noon and night. If you wanna go the whole hog then think pasta sandwiches. In fact if you consume pasta sandwiches every day of the week you will definitely notice a difference in your appearance in no time trust us. Snack wise you could keep a pot of Pringles handy in your desk drawer to ensure you don’t go hungry.
Sugar is essential if you are wanting to go up a dress size so be sure to stock up on things such as chocolate, ice cream and copious amounts of sweets (these are especially great for keeping in your desk at work for when you’re hungry) If you’re not used to sugar in your tea or coffee then it is time start adding it. If it is too much at first then begin with just one and work your way up to four as the week progresses.
If sugar and carbs are essential in helping gain weight then what better way to ensure you’re on the right path than cake? Sugar and carbs all in one. Be sure to opt for cake with plenty of icing or buttercream (or both) and aim to have at least one door stop sized slice of cake a day to get yourself into full on fat gaining mode.
This is essential, did you know that you burn the least amount of calories when you’re sitting still and doing nothing? Make sure you have at least two hours sitting time PER DAY, for maximum results in a short space of time. Come the weekend, cancel all plans and make sure you spend as much of your time as possible sitting, even laying if that is possible. Washing and chores can wait till next week.
If you’re a beer drinker then you’re going to be pleased to know that beer is one of the most calorific alcoholic beverages you can consume and one of the highest in carbs. A dinner of pasta, followed by cake and washed down with beer would be the perfect way to ensure your weight gain results. Failing that, any alcohol will help with your journey, but try and avoid clear drinks such as vodka or gin as there aren’t as many calories in those as other drinks.
In no time at all you will be ditching the jumpers and scarves and struggling to pull your jeans up!
Nicki Kinickie for PF Magazine