No, I am not one of those insane people who have children close together, or God forbid, multiple births. I am currently on my second toddler, the first one now being a teenager who thankfully hasn’t shit his pants in a decade. These days, I have another little urchin who seems to have followed in the footsteps of her older brother and has a love affair with all things faecal. What can I say: I grow oddballs.
Have you donned the Wonder Woman outfit, spent your morning getting ready to smash that glass ceiling in your fabulously equal household where everyone pulls their weight, before running off for a day of smashing the patriarchy and being an independent woman?
As Britain thaws out and rebuilds its bread and milk stocks after the Beast from the East, there’s a deadly new condition preparing to sweep the nation on Sunday… Get ready for the Smog from the Smug.
“Let’s face it, mornings with kids can be hard work, so we at PF have put together our definitive guide to making them simple, you’re welcome!”
“Life as a new mum is truly inspiring. Life-affirming, even. I had no idea it would be like this – in the months before Bethany-Angel-Smith-Reeves was born all people would talk to me about was lack of sleep, loss of friends and cracked nipples.”
“We always wanted to have children. It’s the thing to do. We got married, bought the house, the car, did a bit of traveling. To be honest, we were a bit bored of talking to each other so we thought a child would add eighteen years of distraction to our marriage…”