How to Stay Married

grind-down-the-aisle-3112429_640Over the past several decades divorce figures have slowly crept up. Are people becoming harder and harder to live with or are people caring less about staying married and therefore opting for divorce as an easy way out? Or is it just because we live longer?

Whatever the reason we’re all well aware that sometimes marriage is tough, even if you love the bones of the other person. That’s why we are here with the ultimate guide for both men and women on how to keep your marriage ticking along nicely, as well as tips to keep it fresh and exciting.

Always Leave Socks on the Floor
Men, us women love nothing more than picking up your socks especially socks that are dumped right next to the wash basket so be sure to leave all socks, in fact all washing, on the floor for us to pick up after you. Sock fluff is one of the main attractions to living with a man according to 3 out of 5 women*

Always Nag
Women, we know just how much men like to be nagged by us and made to feel like a ten year old boy at the back of the class so why aren’t we doing it more often? It takes the minimum to no effort at all and can really improve communication between you and your husband which is vital for keeping the marriage alive.

Always Initiate Sex by Rubbing Yourself Against Your Partner
Men, take it from us we love nothing more than to be nearly asleep only to feel your erection pressed up against our spine especially if you then proceed to rub it up and down. Women, be sure that once sex is in full swing you lay there motionless and stare at the ceiling thinking of what needs doing tomorrow and if you turned the hob off.

Take your Time To Get Ready
Men appreciate that women like to take their time when getting ready to go out so make sure that’s exactly what you do. Around three to four hours is the perfect amount of time and when he asks you how long you will be or if you’re nearly ready be sure to lie to keep him on his toes. Tell him you’re ready when you’re still halfway through curling your hair and in your underwear. Tell him you will be ready by 7.30 and walk down at ten past eight. He will thank you for it later.

Never Load The Dishwasher
Guys, us women love cleaning and we just love cleaning up after you so be sure that when you’re finished with that plate or cup, rather than putting it in the dishwasher you place it on top of it and leave for someone else (us) to do. We especially like it when you make yourselves a sandwich and leave evidence of said sandwich all over the worktop.

Be Indecisive
Men love nothing better than a woman who doesn’t know what she wants especially if you involve him in your uncertain decision making. Ask him to help you pick an outfit for an occasion only to go with opposite of his choice or tell him you don’t mind where you eat tonight and he can choose only to reject every suggestion he makes. It’s a sure way to keep the passion alive.

Talk to your husband from another room.
A recent poll revealed that 87% of men prefer it when their women talk to them from another room where they can’t be heard**. For full effect, go upstairs into a room at the furthest point to where they are and start a conversation. Trust us, he will love it.

*might not be true
**Really probably isn’t true

Nicki Kinickie for PF Magazine

 

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