How To Have The Perfect Date


So, after pussyfooting around each other for months you’ve finally asked him out on a date.

Although initially a little surprised, he eventually said yes at the point he couldn’t see his computer screen anymore for all your post-it notes. The next step is to find the perfect venue for that first date.

What you really want to do on a first date is impress each other. He is no exception, he will want to show you how strong and manly he is. If you don’t know enough about him you can start by stalking his facebook profile. Send his friends private messages and find out what his biggest fears are. Men like to show you how brave they are, big brave lions. If you organise a date where he can face his fears, where he won’t want to look like a cowardy custard in front of you, you’ll also be helping him and he’ll never forget you for that. 

You will want him to see that you’re not a girlie girl and show off your adventurous side.

Men like wild, adventurous women. If you find out he is afraid of heights you can organise a bungee jump, abseiling, or better still a nice romantic trip up in a hot air balloon. He might seem a little sweaty and clammy at the start but he’ll soon get in the mood and enjoy the romance of it all; he will fall in love with your imagination from the outset.

If your date can’t swim and has an irrational fear of drowning (possibly because he was orphaned when the rest of his family drowned in a boating accident, and he has survivor’s guilt)  imagine the good you can do by helping him overcome this fear.  Leave it as a complete surprise though, head down to the lake with a scrummy picnic (complete with fake spiders because you found out how much he hates those) and then just push him in the lake. Oh, how you will laugh about this later with all your new ‘couple’ friends.

You will want to dress to impress, you want to make sure he can’t keep his eyes off you.

Which will be very handy when he’s trying not to look down from the hot air balloon.  If you haven’t finalised the venue for the date, but still want to get your outfit, you could play it safe with a pyjama onesie, this will be both comfortable and practical for all eventualities. It also tells him ‘this girl has guts and a sense of humor’.

One of the most important things to do with your date is to tease him mercilessly. If he squeals like a girl on your adventure keep bringing it up over dinner. It will show him how much you really like him and help him to man up in future, which you know he really wants to do more than anything. Forget any of these silly new feminist rules, poke him, pull at his hair, tame his stray eyebrow hairs with a little spit on a napkin. These are the tell-tale signs that someone is really into you.

Seal your perfect date with a kiss.

Don’t wait for him to make the first move. Just as he’s about to walk away throw your arms around his neck and jump up wrapping your legs around his back. Pretend you won’t let him go, and that he’ll have to carry you all the way home to his apartment. Men like commitment and loyalty, and as a big dog lover, he will cherish your excited puppy-like behavior.

Trust me, you won’t be sitting waiting for the phone to ring the next day, especially if you send him a little goodnight text with lots of heart emojis and a screen full of kisses.

Lisa Ives for Pf Magazine

I Am Wo-Man Hear Me Roar ~ Or Not