Bunker Life


Pennsylvania—Last year Marie Hobeck stunned the world when she decided to leave the comfort of her underground bunker, located in rural Pennsylvania, and rejoin society. “I’d grown fed up with the world, and the awfulness of humanity in 2002 so I decided to leave society and live off the grid underground,” she told mystified reporters. Members of the community quickly rallied around her helping her find a job and even get active on social media.

The honeymoon, however, appears to have been short-lived. “Not only has the world not gotten any better, it’s actually worse. Furthermore, with Facebook and Twitter I can’t even escape inconsiderate assholes in the privacy of my own home,” Ms. Hobeck stated to once again mystified reporters at a press conference. Evidently, Hobeck had begun questioning her decision to rejoin society as early as March of 2017 but held out in the hopes that things would eventually get better, and because she really wanted to see season 2 of Stranger Things.

“It was fun, but I’m over it,” She remarked before giving the people of her town the finger and telling everyone to enjoy their dumpster fire. It remains unclear whether Ms. Hobeck’s decision to once again leave society behind is permanent or merely a temporary break.

Lauren Pathak for PF Magazine