Oo La La Ménopause


How Do French Women Master The Menopause?

According To The Daily Mail.


According to Helena Frith Powell of the Daily Mail, they just have to spray themselves with Evian water and wear sexy underwear. I’d like to see how they fit the trusty Tena Lady, like a paddle board, into the widest part of their thongs!

Yes Ladies, along with having more sex, not talking about it, and sage & thyme supplements you too can say au-revoir to those hideous night sweats, daytime hot flushes and mood swings of the bunny boiler variety. Just reading that article had me in a hot flush, and unlike the civilised French ladies, I didn’t shut up about it. I ranted about it to anyone (mostly male) who were stupid enough to inquire as to what I was reading and writing.

The article continued; Actress Agnes Jaoui, 53 states, “It’s very important to French women that we don’t stop being sexy at 50. Even if we’re having a discreet hot flush.”

A DISCREET hot flush? According to Helena, who moved to France 18 years ago, none of her friends have ever, “suddenly ripped off their T-Shirts to cool down…” Funnily enough Helena, I may have flapped my T-Shirt a little but I, an English Rose, have not ripped mine off either.

The wonderful example in this impertinent article, championing the ageing sex goddesses of our European neighbours, is none other than Brigitte Macron. She is applauded for her costume of leather trousers and stiletto heels in the classroom. One of the many French women refusing to ‘equate to her more mature years…’ I’m suspecting it wasn’t an Evian spray she was carrying in her purse when she went all extra curricular behind the bike sheds with a young Emmanuel. In this country, we prefer twin set and pearls to avoid a heap load of trouble like that.

Did you know that those French belles are more open to HRT than us Brits? Did you also know that our use of HRT plummeted when a major 2002 study linked it to breast cancer? You might look sexy in your frilly knickers and ‘at it’ like rabbits, but guess who’ll get to be at it for longer?

So, apparently, sex isn’t linked to fertility in French culture. I can’t help but wonder which of the above ‘cures’ is the one that kick starts the old libido. It’s like they’re telling us to ‘get over it, and get on with it’. Which is as infuriating as telling someone with depression to cheer up. “Age is no barrier to sexiness…the menopause has little or no bearing on a woman’s desire to be attractive (and attracted to) others.” Hell yes they are. With age comes, not even greater beauty and sexual fulfillment, but a plastic box with the days of the week written on it, useful when your memory starts going and you don’t want to forget to take your happy pill. Or the tablet that keeps your thyroid balanced; or the one that stops that gastric reflux spewing out when you’re lying on your back.

To a culture that commands a silence of voicing the menopause to your other half; where sex and sexiness is such a priority you’d risk your own good health; where school teachers have relationships with their students and dress in an alluring way which fosters that relationship; I say. What a load of bollocks. I will keep my big, comfortable knickers; I will shout about the menopause from the rooftops; I won’t have sex; and I will continue to hide my spreading midriff under baggy, unattractive clothes and revel in the pleasure and comfort that being 50 finally affords me.


Lisa Ives for Pf Magazine


4 replies on “Oo La La Ménopause”

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